Introduction

In leadership circles, we've all heard phrases like "grow some balls," used to signify strength and courage. But as female leaders, we must challenge this narrative. Why equate bravery and resilience with male anatomy, especially such a weak and sensitive part?

It’s time to redefine courage — one that honours our experiences as women without subscribing to outdated patriarchal ideals of leadership.

The Problem with "Growing Balls"

The expression "grow balls" reinforces the idea that courage is external and linked to maleness. It dismisses the innate resilience and courage women demonstrate daily — from navigating workplace gender bias to balancing leadership, careers, relationships, and family. So why do we rely on metaphors that overlook the power of feminine energy or harness our innate strength?

As Betty White famously joked, "Why do people say 'grow some balls'? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina!" Her words, funny as they are, highlight the strength inherent in the female experience — strength too often misinterpreted, downplayed, or dismissed.

Redefining Courage

For women in leadership, courage is standing in your truth, even when the world tries to silence you. It’s about showing up authentically, setting boundaries, and leading with empathy. Real courage is steadfast, like advocating for your team or saying no when it conflicts with your values.

In my coaching sessions with female leaders, I see many women feel they need to "toughen up" to succeed. But toughening up doesn’t mean mimicking the aggressive leadership style often praised in some men. It’s about navigating biases, challenging norms, and breaking barriers without losing yourself.

We need to champion metaphors for courage that resonate with women’s lived experiences. Consider the strength and resilience in going to work for less pay than your male colleagues for the same job, constantly feeling the need to over-perform just to get the recognition male leaders often receive simply by showing up. This kind of courage — persisting through adversity and overcoming the mountains of bias women face — deserves recognition.

Leading from Our Strengths

Women don’t need to "grow balls" to lead effectively. We already possess the resilience and courage required. What’s essential is owning and celebrating these strengths. This mindset shift is crucial for women, many of whom, like my clients, often second-guess themselves, struggle with setting boundaries or feel uncertain about their place in leadership.

By redefining courage on our terms, we empower ourselves to lead authentically, inclusively, and powerfully. We create space for emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and collaboration — qualities as vital as assertiveness and decision-making. These strengths will elevate our leadership and pave the way for future female leaders.

3 Coaching Questions for Reflection

1. Where in your leadership have you felt pressured to "grow some balls" or conform to a more masculine style?

2. How have you demonstrated resilience and strength, balancing both your masculine and feminine energies in leadership?

3. What would leadership look like if you fully embraced your own definition of courage?

3 Action Steps to Take This Week

1. Reclaim Your Story: Reflect on times when you've demonstrated courage in personal or professional life. Write them down and celebrate them.

2. Set a Boundary: This week, say no to something that doesn’t align with your values or needs. Courage is also about protecting your energy.

3. Share Your Strength: In your next meeting or one-on-one, uplift another woman by acknowledging her strength and contribution.

Conclusion

Redefining courage for women starts with rejecting outdated metaphors and embracing our powerful narratives. We don’t need to "grow balls" to lead. We already possess the strength — born from our unique experiences. True leadership comes from owning who you are, embracing your resilience, and showing up authentically every day.

Ready to Own Your Value  

Now that you've redefined courage and leadership on your terms, it’s time to talk about the words that impact how you’re perceived. Your language shapes your leadership power, so stop letting outdated terms hold you back. Dive into my next article, Let’s Talk About Your Value: How Money, Success, and Ambition Redefine Female Leadership, and learn how discussing money, celebrating wins, and embracing ambition can transform the way you lead.

If this resonates with you, and you're ready to take action, book an Assess Your Leadership session with me here. I only offer a couple of these sessions each month, so take this opportunity to gain personal insights and elevate your leadership ... unapologetically.