Boundaries are essential for effective leadership, impacting both professional success and personal well-being. It’s a topic that comes up regularly with the female leaders I coach. Even those who do well with boundaries – like me, I’m a self-proclaimed Boundary Ninja – often find areas for improvement. The more we gain clarity on our boundaries, implement, and maintain them, the more of a positive impact we can make at work and in our personal lives in a sustainable way.

Burnout

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress.

Familiar, anyone?

For female leaders, burnout is particularly prevalent due to the additional pressure of unconscious bias. For instance, women are often assigned extra tasks, non-promotable tasks, or unrewarded responsibilities such as training new hires, organizing events, or handling low-revenue clients because they are stereotyped and perceived as more capable of completing these jobs 🙄. Additionally, women tend to balance a higher rate of household responsibilities 🙄🙄. This often leads to feelings of exhaustion and resentment, impacting both performance and well-being.

For instance, my client – let’s call her ‘Claire’, a senior manager, found herself constantly saying yes to additional tasks and non-promotable projects that weren’t technically part of her role. She was known to be efficient and reliable, but this also meant she was overcommitted, which led to persistent exhaustion. Through our coaching sessions and conversations about her lack of boundaries and revamping her brand (from being known as the ‘reliable dumping ground’ to an ‘effective leader’), Claire learned to set clear boundaries by prioritising herself, her tasks, and communicating her limits more effectively. This change significantly improved her productivity, personal brand, and helped her regain control of her life.

Resentment and Exhaustion:

Resentment and exhaustion arise when others encroach on your time and energy due to unclear boundaries or a lack of boundaries. This leads to constant over-commitment and stress, resulting in emotional fatigue and decreased productivity. It’s important to recognize the part we play in the resentment we experience. We teach people how to treat us, so if you’re annoyed at people not respecting your boundaries, acknowledge that you taught them that. By taking responsibility for the part you play, you can teach them about your boundaries. Another coaching client – let’s call her ‘Emma’, an executive director, experienced severe burnout from overworking and being constantly available. By implementing strategies to set firm boundaries, Emma managed to carve out time for herself, self-care, and quality time with her family, which led to less resentment of her workplace and team members and partner, found herself more motivated at work, and it had a positive impact on her general happiness.

Reflecting on areas in your life where boundaries are lacking is a crucial step in making meaningful changes. Ask yourself questions like, "Where do I wish I had set a stronger boundary recently?" to gain insight into your boundary-setting habits. Think about whether your director demands you're available 24/7, your spouse refuses to share household responsibilities, or a friend is overly demanding and critical.

Practical Steps to Define and Uphold Boundaries:

Clear Communication:

Communicate your boundaries clearly to colleagues, supervisors, and family members. Use assertive yet respectful language to set limits and ensure your needs are understood. For example, you can say, "I won't be able to take on that project this week due to my current workload," or "I need to leave the office by 6 PM to ensure I have time for my family."

Self-Care Practices:

Self-care plays a vital role in maintaining strong boundaries. Engage in activities such as regular exercise, mindfulness, play, and hobbies to replenish your energy and reduce stress. We know this, of course, but unless we prioritize ourselves and our well-being, it doesn’t just happen. How can you carve out some time each day or week? Even combine some of your interests—walk with a friend, bike ride with family, grab a morning coffee and walk through a park on the way to work.

Self-Awareress:

Bring self-awareness to areas of your life where you feel burnt out, exhausted, and resentful. This awareness will help you identify where your boundaries are lacking and from there you can take steps to reinforce them. This is about taking personal responsibility for the part you play in the impacts of not having boundaries. It’s easy to get frustrated and blame others for stepping over your boundaries; however, when you take a step back, you can often see that by getting clearer on your boundaries and communicating them more effectively, you can have an impact on those feelings of frustration and feel more in charge as a result.

Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is not always ‘sunshine and butterflies’ but it is crucial for achieving professional success and personal well-being. By taking proactive steps to define and uphold your limits, you can create a more sustainable and fulfilling leadership experience and make a greater impact with your leadership. Remember, boundaries are not just about saying no but about protecting your energy and ensuring you walk into every room as your best self.

Powerful Coaching Questions:

Where have you felt resentment, exhaustion, or burnout recently due to unclear boundaries?

What boundaries do you need to set to protect your well-being?

How can communicating your boundaries more effectively impact how you feel about your leadership and life?

Actions to Commit to This Week:

Identify one area where you need to set a stronger boundary.

Communicate this boundary to the relevant people in your life.

Schedule time for self-care activities to support your boundaries.

Are you ready to take your leadership to the next level? Schedule a complimentary 30-minute Assess Your Leadership Session designed to help female leaders set clear boundaries and achieve their personal and professional goals. Contact me today to learn more.