Introduction

Imagine your leadership journey as a map — a dynamic guide that helps you navigate decisions, set boundaries, see yourself as a leader, and interact with your team. Whether consciously or not, we all have a map, influenced by our upbringing, beliefs, and experiences, like that comment your Grade 4 teacher made about you being bossy! This map reflects how we show up in leadership, how we see ourselves, and how we view the world around us.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), this concept is known as "the map is not the territory". As a Master Trainer of NLP, I have worked with this for over 15 years, and it has changed my life for the positive and sharing this with my clients has helped them elevate the leadership of hundreds of leaders.

It means that our map is a subjective interpretation of reality, filtered through our perceptions, not the objective truth. Understanding that our Leadership Map is not fixed but adaptable gives us the flexibility to adjust our approach to situations, making us more effective, authentic, and empathetic leaders. It also helps us recognize that all situations are only perceived through our own map, while others interpret the same experiences through theirs. Ever had a miscommunication at work? This happens so often because we never see the same experience through identical maps.

How Our Leadership Map is Shaped

1. Sensory Input:
   Our perceptions through the five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell) shape how we experience the world. However, these inputs are filtered through our minds.

   • Leadership Example: As a leader, you might walk into a boardroom and see a team member with a neutral expression. Based on past experiences, you could interpret this as disengagement or disapproval, leading you to overcompensate in your communication style. But this assumption may be inaccurate, as you are simply reacting to your sensory input.

2. Beliefs and Values:
   These are core components of our internal map, shaped by past experiences, upbringing, and culture. They influence what we believe is possible and what we value most.

   • Leadership Example: If you’ve been socialized in a culture that values collective achievement for women over individual recognition, you may feel uncomfortable stepping into the spotlight as a leader, even when it's necessary. This belief could hold you back from fully embracing your leadership role.

3. Language and Labels:
   The way we describe our world and label our experiences shapes how we view ourselves and others. Language either expands or limits our perceptions every minute of the day.

   • Leadership Example: Imagine a leader who consistently refers to themselves as "just the manager" instead of embracing their full role as a leader. This language limits their sense of authority, and they may struggle to command respect from their team.

4. Memories and Past Experiences:
   Our past heavily influences how we interpret new situations. Whether helpful or unhelpful, memories shape how we approach leadership challenges.

   • Leadership Example: A leader who once received harsh feedback during a high-pressure presentation may feel anxious in similar situations, even when fully prepared. Their memory of past failures can cloud their ability to confidently engage with the present task.

5. Cultural and Social Conditioning:
   Society’s norms and expectations define much of our behavior. The roles and rules we’ve internalized over time create mental frameworks that guide how we act.

   • Leadership Example: Female leaders in male-dominated industries may feel pressure to adopt a more traditionally "masculine" leadership style, suppressing their natural approach because whenever they assert themselves, they face unfair comments about being "aggressive". This conditioning limits authentic leadership and can lead to burnout or dissatisfaction.

6. Emotional Responses:
   Our emotions are a vital part of our map. They guide our actions and decisions, often determining how we respond to stress or challenges.

   • Leadership Example: A leader who feels frustration when deadlines are missed might immediately become confrontational with their team. However, by recognizing that this emotional response is shaped by their internal map (rather than the team’s intentions), the leader can choose a more productive approach.

The Benefits of Understanding and Embedding Your Leadership Map

Understanding and embedding the concept of your Leadership Map brings several advantages to your leadership journey:

• Increased Self-Awareness: Recognizing that your map is not reality helps you understand your biases, triggers, and strengths. This self-awareness leads to more intentional and mindful leadership, reducing reactive behaviors.
• Enhanced Communication: By acknowledging that everyone operates from their own map, you become better at navigating miscommunication. You’ll approach conversations with more empathy, recognizing that not only do others filter experiences through their own map, but you do this, too. This helps you relate to your team and see how your actions may be interpreted differently.
• Greater Flexibility: Knowing that your map is adaptable allows you to shift perspectives and tweak your approach when you’re not getting the response you want. This flexibility enables you to respond creatively to challenges, helping you handle conflict with ease and approach situations with curiosity rather than judgment - both towards yourself and others.
• Empowerment to Challenge Beliefs: Leaders can recognize outdated or limiting beliefs and actively work to change them, enhancing their confidence and capacity to lead effectively. It enables a mindset of growth, allowing for continuous improvement.
• Improved Decision-Making: Understanding that your decisions are based on your map, often not objective truth, enables you to step back, harness your critical thinking, and assess decisions more holistically. It helps you make choices that are aligned with long-term goals rather than reacting to short-term emotions.

Section 1: Recognising Outdated Routes

Just like a physical map, parts of our Leadership Map can become outdated over time. As your role as a leader evolves — whether you’re stepping into a new position, struggling in your current role, or leading a more complex team — your internal map may need an update or upgrade. This is especially true if parts of your map are holding you back, perhaps due to limiting beliefs like impostor syndrome or the pressure to always have the answers, or an unwillingness to delegate because you’ve previously "done it all yourself," but now you're at a new level where that approach is unsustainable.

Common Outdated Routes Include:

• "I need to have all the answers to be a successful leader." This belief stifles vulnerability and collaboration.
• "I can’t set boundaries at this level." Many leaders fear that boundaries make them appear less dedicated, even though boundaries are essential for long-term well-being, effective leadership, and success.
• "I must be liked to be a great leader." While relationship-building is important, prioritizing likability over respect will absolutely limit your effectiveness. This often leads to avoiding conflict, giving balanced feedback, and facing issues head-on, even when addressing these situations would be more beneficial to you, your team, and your organization.

Recognizing these outdated routes is the first step toward updating your Leadership Map.

Section 2. Updating Your Leadership Map

Once you've identified the parts of your map that no longer serve you, it’s time to redraw them. Here are some tools that can help you reframe limiting beliefs and create a more empowering map for your leadership journey:

• Reframing Limiting Beliefs: Instead of "I need to have all the answers," you could step toward a reframe such as "Great leaders ask great questions."

• Journaling Prompts: Reflect on situations that have reinforced outdated beliefs. Ask yourself how these scenarios might have unfolded differently if you’d approached them with a new mindset.

• Challenging Beliefs with an Experienced Coach: Working with a coach who challenges your map can help you see your blind spots and create a safe space for you to redefine your leadership beliefs.

Updating your Leadership Map means aligning it with the leader you want to be, not the leader you think you "should" be. When leaders "should" all over themselves, they often chase external expectations or rigid ideals that don’t align with their authentic leadership style. This shift toward authenticity allows you to lead with greater impact and confidence.

Section 3: Practical Steps for Updating Your Leadership Map

Here are some actionable steps to help integrate these new insights into your leadership style:

Coaching Questions:

1. What beliefs about leadership no longer serve you?

2. How has your map been shaped by others' perceptions of you as a leader — both in helpful and unhelpful ways?

3. What’s one limiting belief you're ready to rewrite today?

Action Steps:

1. Redraw an Outdated Route: Identify a belief in your leadership map that no longer serves you and rewrite it from a place of empowerment. For example, "I need to be available 24/7" could become "I set clear boundaries to protect my well-being and lead by example."

2. Integrate the New Route: Begin practicing this new belief in your day-to-day leadership. If you've updated your beliefs around boundaries, start by saying "no" or delegating tasks that don’t align with your priorities.

3. Accountability Check: Develop systems to hold yourself accountable or work with a trusted colleague or friend, where both of you check in on each other’s progress.